You know what would really be sour? If The New Day was forced to split up. Now, while the W. W. E. World. Tag. Team. Champions. would never do such a thing of their own volition, the upcoming Brand Extension that will split Raw and SmackDown back into two distinctive rosters may mean the decision is out of their hands. That caused no small amount of panic for ya boys, so they took it upon themselves to plead for Shane and Stephanie McMahon to ensure their status as a package deal.
The McMahon siblings refused to confirm one way or the other — or reveal who’ll be in charge of SmackDown — but they were enticed, as we all eventually are, into a dance challenge by the Tag Team Champions. Then, of course, The Vaudevillains interrupted and things got complicated.
It’s fair to say that, if not for Kofi Kingston’s timely assistance at Extreme Rules, The Vaudevillains could very well be WWE Tag Team Champions instead of The New Day. So you can certainly understand that the gentlemen brawlers weren’t so much in the mood to beat the champs in a non-title tussle on Raw as to simply humiliate them.
They had a little help in doing so, too, as Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson attacked Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston at ringside, at which point the ‘Villains teamed up on the lone legal man, Big E. With all three champions down, Aiden English & Simon Gotch ceded the ring in gentlemanly fashion to Gallows & Anderson, who pummeled Big E with the Magic Killer.
Breezango’s been on a roll lately against The Golden Truth, but the hot streak of the most devastatingly handsome tag team in WWE turned cold in a hurry when they went up against The Usos on Raw. They were so preoccupied with Goldust and R-Truth at ringside that The Usos managed to pin Fandango with a crucifix rollup. Breezango blamed the loss, ironically, on Golden Truth, who were watching from commentary, and decided to start a little something with the odd couple. That, too, went south in a hurry as Golden Truth fought back, driving Breezango away and displaying, for the first time, some true unity.
So Roman Reigns has Seth Rollins at Money in the Bank, which is great for Seth Rollins, since he never lost the WWE World Heavyweight Title and is willing to do anything and everything to get it back. Reigns wasn’t exactly thrilled at having to wait to get his hands on The Architect, however, so “The Guy” came into the Raw ring and dared “The Man” to mix it up a few weeks early. Despite some pretty hardcore goading that nearly caused Rollins to rush the ring and fight, Rollins held firm and refused to give Reigns what he wanted. After all, what’s an Architect without a plan?
Last Memorial Day, Zack Ryder rolled the dice and answered John Cena’s U.S. Open Challenge. He fell short at the time, but having tasted success at WrestleMania, the revitalized Ultimate Broski threw himself back into the mix against the current U.S. Champion Rusev in a non-title match on Raw. Unfortunately, this match went the same way as the last one: A heartfelt effort ended in defeat, in this case at the receiving end of an Accolade.
All of which was enough to provoke Rusev to declare his superiority over the entirety of the USA. Titus O’Neil wasn’t convinced, however. The Big Deal got in Rusev’s face for the second time in four days, only this time he followed through and socked the champion in the face. Alas, Rusev stopped short of retaliation, but a little persistence may go a long way yet for O’Neil.
Ever since Enzo Amore & Big Cass arrived on the scene, they’ve had to deal with, in some form or another, those cuppa’ haters The Dudley Boyz. Well, consider the jamokes smoked, because Enzo & Cass knocked off the Attitude Era veterans on Raw in “Smacktalker Skywalker’s” first official match back in nearly a month. It did get hairy for a bit when the Dudleys managed to isolate Enzo (aka “Muscles Marinara”) from his partner. But once Cass (aka “Don Parmesan” — lots of cheese metaphors for the tri-state boys tonight) got into the mix, it was a quick sprint to the Rocket Launcher that put D-Von Dudley down for the count.
John Cena is back! And John Cena is down! The 15-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion’s much-anticipated homecoming was spoiled by none other than AJ Styles — who, having fallen short of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, has apparently decided to make an example out of the next best thing. Moments after Cena declared that the New Era would have to go through him, Styles came to the ring in an arrival that nearly caused the WWE Universe to implode under the weight of dueling fan support.
Once the rancor died down, Styles revealed he’d come to the ring under the pretense of paying respect. He even seemed primed to join the Cenation leader when Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson came to the ring. The whole thing was quickly revealed to be a ruse, however, as all three put a stomping on Cena (guess that breakup from last week was only temporary) that culminated in not one, not two, but three additional pummelings from The Phenomenal One.
Dana Brooke more or less cost Natalya the WWE Women’s Championship at Extreme Rules. On this, there is no dispute. But that doesn’t mean The Queen of Harts had to take the insult lying down. She squared off one-on-one with Dana on Raw in an attempt to rectify the two-on-one mugging she endured on SmackDown. Charlotte didn’t interfere outright in this match, but she provided a distraction that allowed Dana to steal a win with her sit-out Michinoku Driver. Before the duo could put a further beating on Natalya, Becky Lynch sprinted to the ring to make the save, driving Charlotte and Dana back into the crowd.
As you may know, Dolph Ziggler was a record-setting collegiate wrestler at his alma mater, Kent State University. So it would make sense that The Showoff would challenge his rival Baron Corbin to a technical wrestling match after The Lone Wolf low-blowed him at Extreme Rules — what better way to humiliate Corbin than by luring him onto Dolph’s own turf? Well, turns out the whole technical-wrestling challenge was little more than a bait-and-switch for Ziggler to kick Corbin square in the groin, Charlie-Brown style, the second the bell rang. Needless to say, that’s hardly scientific, not to mention a DQ under any set of rules. But it ain’t like Corbin’s going to be enjoying his victory all that much anyway. Go Golden Flashes!
So Dean Ambrose doesn’t trust Canadians. Who knew? That being said, he should be thankful that Sami Zayn was on his team in Raw’s main event, otherwise The Lunatic Fringe might have another loss to his name. In a match that pitted the six Money in the Bank competitors against each other, Ambrose, Zayn & Cesaro united against Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens & Alberto Del Rio, none of whom could get along to save their lives.
Or the match, as it turns out. After a long battle, Jericho finally had Ambrose where he wanted him when Owens stole a tag and stalled his trio in its tracks — thanks, Canada — instigating a Pier-Six brawl where Cesaro unleashed the Cesaro Swing on Jericho. That is, until Del Rio Backstabber’d him. At which point, Zayn hit him with the Helluva Kick, leading to a superkick from Owens and a Pop-up Powerbomb attempt that went awry. And that allowed Dean-O to pounce with Dirty Deeds for the win. Poutine for everybody!
- Numbers in parentheses indicate the length of the match.
- (c) refers to the champion(s) heading into the match.
- The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E) (w/ Xavier Woods) defeated The Vaudevillains (Simon Gotch & Aiden English) by DQ (8:53)
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