Annoyance Factor: x13.5
|Type||Red and irritated Rogue|
|Weight||397,768 gallons of H20|
|Attacks||Deep-sea dive, submerged slap, kelp kick, hook-line sink, purple nurple|
|Allies||Unibouzu, D.W. Cycloptopuss III|
|Enemies||American Beetle, Slo Feng, Sky Deviler, Mota Naru|
Call-Me-Kevin steal name from origin mysterious. Falling from one ocean to other make memory bad and sadness big. Big red spike creature find ocean ally in Unibouzu. Big sea urchin poor role model and teach even the worse. Do not blame Kevin for bad behavior, when society is reflected in spiky rogue. Call-Me-Kevin lashes out with jokes cruels and enjoyment of not getting the clap of justice Hero.
A Hard Knock Kevin
At first glance, Call-Me-Kevin resembles any other Kaiju Big Battel Rogue: thuggish, violent, and lacking all basic morality. And while Kevin is certainly an unrepentant trickster, the more you learn about him, the more you realize that he's not entirely to blame for his prankster ways. He too is a displaced victim. He too has been misled by his role models. Is Call Me Kevin really a villain? Perhaps society is the true Rogue...
Millions of years ago, Call-Me-Kevin lived beyond the reach of human telescopes on an aquatic-paradise planet called Piscon 7. There, Kevin led a simple life as a kelp farmer. (The presence of kelp on both Piscon 7 and Earth should be noted as one of the universe's divine mysteries.) Each day, he took pleasure in his routine: rise, work the farm, spend time with his family. He felt as if nothing could intrude on his undersea utopia. Little did he know, this bucolic existence was about to end forever.
With no telescopic equipment and little interest in the stars, the inhabitants of Piscon 7 had no warning of the meteoroid that would shatter their world. So when it hit, the impact was catastrophic. Fault lines shook and molten lava rose from the planet's core, bringing the water to a boil and cooking most Piscons alive. But they were the lucky ones: the meteoroid's impact created a splash so powerful that it sent many Piscons hurtling into outer space. Most of these unwitting astronauts died an agonizing death, flopping about spastically as their gills uselessly sucked for oxygen in deep space.
Call-Me-Kevin, however, managed to escape this excrutiating fate. When the meteoroid hit, he'd been near the surface, tracking down an errant kelp hoe. His proximity to the surface, coupled with a confluence of fast-moving ocean currents, submerged him in an enormous water droplet that the big splash hurled into the cosmos. Then, before the droplet could break up, outerspace's frigid temperatures froze the ball solid. Encased in ice, the six-eyed alien's metabolism slowed to a state of hibernation: his body required no food or oxygen and his mind slowed along with his body. After the first hundred years of his entrapment, he forgot the names and faces of his family. A thousand years passed and memories of life on Piscon 7 began to fade. Then, millions of year later, Call-Me-Kevin's remembered nothing.
Then in the late twentieth century, earth's gravitational pull sucked in the icy ball and dragged it down through the planet's atmosphere into the sea. Call-Me-Kevin awoke at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean disoriented and confused. Floating around the Pacific, the foreigner felt lost in a world full of unfamiliar menaces: in his first week alone, a trawling net caught his toe, an oil slick fowled up his gills, and a Trafalgar Class Nuclear Powered Attack Submarine knocked him back into unconsciousness. Bruised, confused, and alone, the interstellar aqua-man crawled up under a sunken oil tanker and began to weep. In this pathetic state, Call-Me-Kevin was found by a creature that'd change his life forever.
When Unibouzu found Call-Me-Kevin, Uni was happy as a clam. He'd just devoured three tourists who'd ventured too far from a Great Barrier Reef tour and was out looking for sharks to tease when he spotted the clueless creature. Taking pity on the sad beast, Unibouzu assured him that he was a giant sea monster and that with a little training, he could become his sidekick. Although Call-Me-Kevin didn't know what either a sea monster or a sidekick was, he decided that both sounded better than getting beat up by a nuclear-powered submarine.
So Call-Me-Kevin trained as Unibouzu's apprentice in Roguishness. Under the watchful eye of his spiny mentor, Call-Me-Kevin began swallowing row boats, knocking down piers, and hanging on every one of Unibouzu's words. Unfortunately, Unibouzu proved to be both a poor teacher and an abysmal role model. Where Unibouzu found great success in the world of Kaiju Big Battel, Call-Me-Kevin found failure. He shared the same enthusiasm for aquatic acrobatic attacks, but Call-Me-Kevin's delivery was unrefined and sloppy. While Unibouzu scored victories, Call-Me-Kevin became a whipping boy for Kaiju's elite.
Even as he racked up loss after loss, Call-Me-Kevin took solace in Unibouzu's success. With this hero complex built around his mentor, Call-Me-Kevin did everything in his power to impress Unibouzu: silly pranks, wanton destruction, and outlandish behavior. While this may have endeared him to Uni, Kevin's trickster ways soon became a major Kaiju nuisance and earned him a troublesome Rogue reputation that he continues to uphold.